New Mission in My Life

When I was little, I was always loved and taken attention by others as a pretty girl and the first child of my family.  

When I was young, I was told that I was good and nice at school and home.

When I became an adult, I was changed a lot to adventurous and brave little lady. I traveled from here to there over and over. I have lived in Korea, New Zealand, and America, and I have stayed in Austria and Australia, and I have traveled to around over 30 places in the world. I had no regret in my 20′s and early 30′s.

When I was over 30′s. I got married and had three beautiful daughters. I became a dedicated mom and was ready to devote all of my life to my girls and I did.

I am 4o years old now. I got the  Master’s degree of TESL in USA. I have a faithful and ambitious husband, and three graceful daughters who know and love God. I spent my time and energy for my study and my children’s study in America. I feel like I have done everything for myself, my children, and my family until now.

Now, it is the time to do something for others with my knowledges, abilities, and insights.

What is my knowledge? I know about English language, teaching languages, parenting, traveling, painting, music, and art.

What is my speciality? I know how to teach languages especially English, how to dealing with people regardless of their ages and nationalities, how to travel overseas, how to take care of kids and how to live in overseas.

How deep insight do I have? I love to read Bible, books about a scripture, love to organize my insights in papers, and love to listen to elders and wise people.

How can I use all my treasures in me? I am looking for the right thing to do, job to do, and time to do.

I believe God will work on me as I work on myself. I believe God will give me something that I can devote myself in the next step of my life. It can be a job or something else. I am ready and wait until I get the right answer.

Adieu UCO

There left only a week before my graduation. From the start to the end, I did my best on everything I had to do. I studied so hard and got all A, did my best to take care of my three little kids and they are good at English now, and tried to keep a good relationship with American friends as well. Now, I should be happy right? But I am not really happy enough. I do not know why. Maybe there are more things to regret than to satisfy, or more things to do such as restarting a life in Korea, worrying about my kids’ education in Korea or something I should have done in Korea.

Everyday, my parents ask me to come back home as quickly as possible. However, I planned to stay in America 7 more months. I just want to experience America more while I am here. I have to find a job which is my next mission. I want to challenge myself one more time. People say that it may hurt my kids suffering more difficulties in learning Korean as they stay in America longer. These worry me a lot so there is no space for me to celebrate my graduation. I pray for the right direction for my kids and family and ask for an answer. I hate I have to make up my mind before I get an answer from God. Everytime I pray and I take an action, then I try my best not to make it vain. It was my life and is my life, and is gonna be my life again.

American Idol

One of my favorite show programs is “American Idol.” I lke to watch show programs and singing. This season, there are six people left I think, and all of them are really talented as a professional singer. Our families have their own favorite person, mine is Caseyand Crystal, my oldest one’s is the youngest boy(actually her favorite was Katy but she became out a week ago), and so on. We are so excited to see our favorites’ singing, to cheer, and even try to vote on the phone.  

Actually, we started to see that program since a Korean guy was selected within 12. It was soexciting to see a Korean man, Park, singing American pop song, but there were lots of things missing from him comparing to other American singers. American singers are so free and good at showing their feekings off the stage. Instead, Park seemed to be a little nervous or cautious at taking a risk or showing his emotiom on the state. He was really good at singing but actually he looked like singing a book. Too much perfect according tonotes, too much safe without a risk at his voice, tone, or attitude. As he kept his attitude on a state, I started to feel boring with his song. That’s why he was dropped.

While I am watching that show, I came to realize that Americans are free and natural to show their feelings, emotions, and opinions. They seemed to be grown up being free or natural since that nature could not be built in a couple of years. I really wish that my girls could learn how to express freely and strongly what they have in their mind, and how to show up themselves to others without being discouaged or shy. My girls are still shy in front of people, and are not courageous enough to speak out their opinions. I understand this kind of nature cannot be made, instead it can be inherented. Besides, I cannot help them to grow that nature because I am also a shy Korean. I pray for them to be free in showing themselves.

Functuating your soul

Last Sunday, I participated in a seminar about “growing our soul.” The speaker started her lecture with cleaning our environment especially our house. We sometimes buy what we want not what we need. Then, suddenly we are overwhelmed with lots of staffs that we have collected without using. For instance, I have old clothes which do not fit me any more because of a out-of-fashion, size, or taste. However I could not give up them waiting for a chance when I might wear them in the near future. Those clothes are still in the corner of my closet lingering in my mind. Why can’t I throw them out?

The speaker asked us to clean our house and make it as simple as possible. Then we can live richer. I agree with her that we need to be simpler and richer in our life. If we get simple, there can be more spaces for our creation or preparation for the better life in which a house can functuate its own purpose.  

In the same way, we can grow our soul by throwing away unnecessary feelings and thoughts such as anger, concern, anxiety, or greed. Then our soul can functuate its own purpose such as loving, forgiving, or comforting.

I sometimes find myself full of anger or anxiety which makes me mad at everything. I do not know where it comes from, maybe from my selfish desire for my dream, or my impatience. Everytime I pray for my patience, but actually I need to throw out my complex thinking, desire, or greed first. Otherwise, there is no space for patience in my soul. I need to make my soul simple as of a child that is what God ask for us.

Tonight I pray again for a simple mind with which I can be rich.

 

too long summer vacation

One of differences of school system between Seoul and Edmond is summer vacation. Edmond schools take almost three months for summer vacation while we have less than a month for summer vacation in Korea.

To me, the problem is where to send kids and what to do with them during such a long break. Like me, other parents are busy searching for places to send kids or summer programs for kids. I am still working on planning my kids’ schedule in summer.

A summer camp which is normally operated by a church costs $100 to $ 150 per week. Other activities such as drama, dance, or sports costs similar to this. To me, every activity costs $300 a week at least since I have three kids. Besides, each camp requires an enrollment fee from $20 to $ 350 depending on days or kinds for which people sign up. I cannot understand why there should be an enrollment fee for such a temporary program. I do not want to spend almost $1000 plus enrollment fee only for a fun.

Then, what can I do? Last year I got to know some Vacation Bible Schools where kids can stay from morning to afternoon for free. I volunteered at a couple of places to see what they were doing and what those programs were like. I found out all programs that are operated by different churches are quite similar one another and there might be problems caused by too many kids, too many programs during a short time, too many people going on and out. or unqualified caretakers. In terms of money, VBS seems to be best choice for parents to deal with their kids during summer vacation.

Every summer, parents are forced to go somewhere for vacation no matter what they want or not. Otherwise, summer seems to be nothing without any memories or pictures in our album. We also planned to go to Disney World in Orlando. But, we cannot spend the rest months on remembering our trip of five days.  

Do you have any idea about what to do or where to go with kids during summer vacation?

Food revolution

As a mother of three children, and a person in charge of family’s health, I believe that food tells how we look like or who we are. My most concern was always how to cook healthy and what to serve for my family as other moms. So, I was curious what American children eat and how American mothers cook.

Unfortunately, I was shocked with a student’s lunch box. My three girls bring lunch every day except Friday for a pizza day and every other student is supposed to bring their lunch. I visited school several times during lunch time to see what they bring for lunch. Most students were eating cheese and crackers. I wondered how they can stay at school until 3p.m. with a piece of cheese or crackers.

When my kids brought their lunch to school on the fist school day, they didn’t finish even half of them. They said other kids laughed at them for smelly food. I said “cheese is more smelly, but it is good for health, do not care about food’s smell, the important thing is eating healthy. After that, some classmates who once tried my kids’ meal really liked home-made food, and they realized that my kids’ food was better tasty and healthier than their cold meal.

I thought Jamie Oliver’s food revolution on TV was the most need for American family. I witnessed that some American children eat chicken nuggets and fish sticks almost every day. For example, a girl who lives in my neighborhood used to come over my place almost everyday to play with my girls, and she said she had never eaten fish and never seen her mom washing dishes. That means her mother seldom cooks, instead they usually eat processed food on a plate. It’s sad, isn’t it?

I think everyone related to food in public school needs to watch this program and realize how they are eating and what they are feeding their kids. On TV, kindergarten students did not know what a real potato looks like and a reak tomato looks like even though all of them knew ketchup and french fries. It made me more sad.

I wonder why healthy food restaurants such as salad bar or seafood bar do not have play-areas  for kids. If there were some space for kids, lot of family would eat healthy food instead of eating junk food at McDonald’s or other fast food restaurants only for its convenience for kids.

In Korea, most family restaurants have play-areas for kids, so people do not worry about how to deal with their kids. A big family with three kids like me tends to think of kids first before choosing a restaurant. These kinds of family restaurant can help people to eat healthy.

If we are alert to what we eat and how we eat, we can be healthy.

Journey to Wichita mountains

I went to Wichita mountains in Cache, OK during spring break with my three daughters.

It was not so far two-hour-drive way from Edmond, and worth to show my kids wild animals and mountains.

Wichita mountains were quite different from mountains we used to go: not so high, few tall trees, lots of rocks, and animals passing by.  I thought it was a kind of a park, but it was called Wildlife Refuge which means the place to be protected to preserve wildlife heritage. Therefore the whole place was animal-friendly, not human-friendly.

You must be shocked if you go to a restroom at Sunset picnic area because there is no door. Is it for animal?

According to information, there are more than 50 mammal, 240 bird, 64 reptile and amphibian, 36 fish, and 806 plant species thrive on that refuge, but we only saw bison, prairie dogs, and bunch grasses.   

If we go there early morning or late evening, there are more chances to meet elk, deer, coyotes, and other night animals.

When we got there, there was a special tour program for kids. If you go there for the fist time, you’d better check the guided hiking program, otherwise you may not find a good track for your interests or which place is which animal’s habitat.

Our guide chose a track in beaver habitat because of my little kids. There were several kids aged around 3 to 8, and it took an hour to get to the top of the mountain. It was not as easy as I thought, because actually there was no well-made track for hiking, instead, it was totally up to a guide: she just made a track depending on the conditions. She showed rabbit hole, beaver lodge, how coyote hunt beaver, and other small stuffs that can interest little kids. My daughters were so excited to listen to a guide and find traces of other animals forgetting how tired they were.

After Wichita mountains, we went to Holy City near the mountains. If you are a chiristian, it can be a good place to educate your children, too. My daughters were a little scared with some creatures, but they were excited to see Moses, Mary, and other people who they are told in bible.   

It was a good trip and experience in Oklahoma. If you want to enjoy real nature, you may not be disappointed with Wichita mountains.

My perspectives about Americans

Spring break just started. Everybody is busy to travel or think of traveling in a few days. Unfortunately, I cannot help but stay at home with my three girls. My phone keeps silent, and it looks like to keep silent forever. If I were in Seoul, Korea, I couldn’t imagine this quiet and nothing-to-do moment. We might take a family trip or visit to someone or do something that we should have done before.

Here, in America we are totally isolated from normal family life. This is what I most feel sorry about our family. I sometimes blame on myself, or entirly individualized Americans, or irresistable current situations. This is far from who I used to be.

In this foreign country, it is hard to expect someone be nice to us unless we are nice to other. Particulary, people in Edmond seems to be conservative and not to be exposed to other cultures or people. They do not talk to me first until I talk to them first. They do not offer something until I offer them first. Is it due to their individualism? Anyhow, I experienced it is really hard for me to keep a friendship with Americans especially as a married woman without a husband even though it is understood as a temparary situation.

If they are asked to serve in a group, they are willing to help others. On the other hand, they are afraid of doing something first before others or giving others unless they are asked to give. Americans seem to like to show off their kindness or concern about others’ feeling too much. I don’t know. I just feel most Americans value on visible proof and physical reaction rather than spiritual understanding or acknowledging which is considered as normal in Asia. This kind of Americans’ attitude can work in reducing mutual misunderstanding, but not in developing mutual relationship especially with Asian. If we cannot connect in spiritually, we cannot be a sincere friend.

In this respect, it is hard to make an American friend as a foreigner.

Hello world!

I am a mother of three girls, 6 year-old-twins and 4 year-old-cutty girl. I always feel rich and full because of three girls and my life-long friend, husband.

Unfortunately, our family do not live together at the moment. I brought my girls to America leaving my husband in Seoul, Korea. It was a tough challenge that we were willing to take for my English and my children’s education. Actually neither of my parents or friends agreed to our decision that our children live apart from their dad for a couple of years no matter what the reason wass. Yes, it was tough for my children, my husband, and me to take all the risks that I made.

Now, it’s been over a year since we moved to Edmond. Many things were changed in my children and me(?). They improved their English a lot, grown up, and experienced a lot, something too tough to stand by themselves or something too different to understand. I really feel sorry for that my husband missed the time when my chilren first started to go to school, to sing a song on the stage at school, to play piano at a recital, and to celebrate their birthday, and holidays in America.

I want to believe that it was the right decision. I will do my best to make my parents and friends think that it was the right decision. I hope all of my family can learn something that valuable to their life as much as we sacrificed for one another.

Sorry and thank you for your patience and trust.

I love you so much.